As the holiday season approaches, reminders of family gatherings, traditions, and celebrations can intensify feelings of grief for those who have lost a loved one. This time of year may bring a unique challenge, as cherished memories highlight their absence, and the usual joy of the season feels harder to reach.
Balancing these emotions with self-compassion and supportive practices can offer moments of comfort and ease, helping you find a path through the holidays. From honoring your feelings to creating meaningful new traditions, there are ways to navigate this season with resilience and peace.
For additional support, the Sterling Institute of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Medicine offers telehealth therapy to help you manage grief during the holidays. Contact us today to explore our flexible and compassionate mental health & grief counseling services.
9 Coping Skills to Manage Grief During the Holidays
Grief is a deeply personal experience, but for many, it can become more intense during the holidays. The holiday season brings societal expectations of happiness and togetherness, which can starkly contrast feelings of sorrow or isolation. Recognizing and validating your grief during the holidays can help reduce feelings of guilt or shame for not feeling excited and joyous. Remember that it’s okay to experience grief and joy side by side.
Here are some coping skills that can help you manage feelings of grief as the holiday season approaches:
1. Validate Your Emotions
Validating your emotions means accepting them without judgment and understanding that your feelings of grief are both natural and okay. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teaches us that suppressing or ignoring negative emotions can actually increase their intensity.
Instead, acknowledging these feelings and permitting yourself to experience them fully this holiday season can help reduce their impact over time. Practicing self-compassion by allowing yourself to feel without criticism is a powerful first step, as it normalizes your grief and reminds you that it’s okay to grieve in your unique way.
2. Practice Mindful Self-Compassion
Mindfulness offers a way to stay grounded when grief and difficult emotions arise, especially during stressful times. Techniques like deep breathing, guided imagery, or progressive muscle relaxation can help you stay present and soothe your mind and body.
Research shows that regularly practicing mindfulness reduces stress and strengthens emotional resilience, making it a valuable tool throughout the holiday season and in times of grief. Even brief, daily mindfulness exercises can help manage anxiety, enabling you to meet each day with greater calm and acceptance.
Learn More: The Relationship Between Spirituality & Psychiatry
3. Reframe Negative Thoughts
CBT often involves reframing negative or self-critical thoughts to create more balanced perspectives. If you find yourself thinking, “I shouldn’t feel sad during the holidays,” try reframing it with a compassionate thought like, “It’s natural to feel both sadness and joy during this season.”
This approach, known as cognitive restructuring, helps you shift away from rigid or unhelpful thoughts and embrace a mindset that respects your grief. Reframing negative thoughts allows you to experience love and loss without judgment, which can be profoundly healing.
Learn More: Transform Your Life With CBT
4. Set Boundaries Around Holiday Activities
The holiday season can come with many obligations and expectations, which may feel overwhelming when grieving. Setting boundaries around social engagements allows you to protect your emotional energy and focus on what feels suitable for you.
This might mean politely declining invitations, limiting your time at events, or scheduling alone time to rest and reflect. Being intentional with your boundaries can make the season more manageable, honoring your grief without feeling obligated to participate in every activity.
5. Create New Traditions to Honor Your Loved One
New rituals or traditions dedicated to the memory of your loved one can provide comfort and help you feel close to them. Lighting a candle, cooking a favorite recipe, or dedicating an activity to their memory are all ways to bring their presence into the season.
These personal rituals offer a way to hold onto cherished memories and create meaningful experiences, helping you balance honoring their memory with moving forward. By incorporating these small acts, you can remember your loved one in a way that feels heartfelt and meaningful during the holidays.
6. Embrace Radical Acceptance
Radical acceptance, a core principle in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), involves fully accepting your reality without judgment or resistance—even when it’s painful. Grief often brings a strong urge to wish things were different, but radical acceptance helps you embrace things as they are.
Instead of resisting the sadness, acknowledging that this holiday season may be challenging can help ease the distress of wishing things were different. By accepting your grief, you create space to focus on healing rather than being overwhelmed by the pain of resistance.
7. Regulate Your Emotions
Emotion regulation is another DBT skill that can help manage the intense emotions grief can bring. Distraction techniques like taking a walk, engaging in a creative activity, or calling a friend when sadness feels overwhelming can be helpful tools.
Additionally, participating in comforting or pleasant activities, like watching a favorite movie or enjoying a warm meal, can create moments of relief. Practicing emotion regulation can help you find balance, giving you space to process grief without being consumed by it.
8. Practice Gratitude to Shift Perspective
A gratitude practice, even briefly, can ground you and shift your perspective during the holiday season. Spend a few moments each day acknowledging one or two things you’re grateful for, such as supportive relationships or small moments of calm.
This acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)-based approach doesn’t negate your grief; instead, it allows you to hold sadness and appreciation side by side. This simple practice can offer moments of lightness and remind you of supportive connections amidst the pain.
9. Seek Support from Loved Ones and Professionals
Grief can feel isolating, but connecting with loved ones or a mental health professional can offer essential support. Sharing your feelings with trusted friends or family can create a sense of connection, while therapy can provide personalized tools and techniques to help you work through your grief.
Telehealth therapy and psychiatry at Sterling Institute provide convenient, compassionate support from the comfort of your home, giving you access to the care you need as you navigate this challenging season.
Take The Quiz: Do I Have Seasonal Depression?
Get Support for Coping With Grief This Holiday Season
Managing grief during the holidays is a journey, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Whether you’re exploring new coping skills, setting boundaries, or simply seeking a compassionate ear–support is available.
Sterling Institute offers accessible telehealth therapy, allowing you to work with experienced professionals who understand the complexities of grief and can provide support tailored to your needs. Contact us today to learn how our personalized telehealth services can help you find moments of peace and resilience this holiday season.
References
1. Kriakous, S. A., Elliott, K. A., Lamers, C., & Owen, R. (2021). The Effectiveness of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction on the Psychological Functioning of Healthcare Professionals: a Systematic Review. Mindfulness, 12(1), 1–28. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01500-9
2. Saccaro, L. F., Giff, A., Menduni De Rossi, M., & Piguet, C. (2024). Interventions targeting emotion regulation: A systematic umbrella review. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 174, 263-274. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2024.04.025
3. Roche, K., Mulchan, S., Ayr-Volta, L., Elias, M., Brimacombe, M., Morello, C., & Hinderer, K. A. (2023). Pilot Study on the Impact of Gratitude Journaling or Cognitive Strategies on Health Care Workers. Journal of pediatric health care : official publication of National Association of Pediatric Nurse Associates & Practitioners, 37(4), 414–424. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pedhc.2023.02.002